With all the poopla over Sheryl Crow's decision to stop using toilet paper for fear of harming the environment, many have taken unfair advantage of the situation to heap shit loads of criticism on the struggling musician not just for her new habit of wiping her ass with her bare hands, but also for wanting to clean them off on the tuxedo of George Bush's closest political adviser, Karl Rove.
Perhaps it has nothing to do with "saving the environment," but instead it may be possible that the activist entertainer is finding it too expensive for her to afford such a costly extravagance, given the recent increase of folks longing to hear her contemptuous caterwaul and opting to download her music instead of spending money to buy her albums - which in a way is understandable since college know-it-all hippies don't have any money to begin with. One must realize that she is in dire straits with all the other more important necessities for her survival such as the three tractor trailers, four buses, and six cars needed to travel around the states so as to pontificate and defecate about the pending doom of global warming.
Believing that Ms. Crow's hygiene problem is truly a concern for the wellbeing of the troubled environment, the Communist Chinese have come up with a solution to help her cover her ass with regards to her green fan base. By extracting the fiber content of panda poop, the Chicoms are capable of manufacturing toilet paper capable of handling even the biggest load of bullshit spewed forth by environmental wack-jobs like Sheryl Crow and possibly even the Pope of Greenies, Algore himself.
H/T to the lovley Headmistress, SondraK
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